Jack's first month

Oh Jacky boy. Jack-attack. Jackster. J-dawg.

Where do I start with your first month?! It's been one of the longest, scariest, emotionally draining months of my life. But it has also been incredible and filled with so much love.

Your first week home was uneventful. I was recovering well, Sadie was obsessed with you, and you seemed to mesh right into our world so perfectly. Then on the day your turned one week, you were rushed by ambulance to Primary Children's hospital after we noticed you breathing fast, and that you had a fever. What followed were the longest 6 days of my life as they probed and poked you over and over. They ran test after test and came back with nothing. Your fever burned on for several days, and we hardly left your side. I was so scared. I cried a lot that week. More than I have cried since we lost your big sister, Madelyn. I slept (but didn't actually sleep) on that rock hard bed, ate cafeteria food, listened to your monitors beep, chased down doctors to get information out of them, showered in the sink, and prayed endlessly for you. It was crazy that I could love someone so much, when I'd only met you a week ago. But finally, thanks to wonderful doctors, you improved, were diagnosed, and we got to take you home! It was not a fun experience, but I have already started to forget just how horrible it was, because we get to have you home!!

We barely had a week after the hospital together before my entire family came to town! You met everyone on my side, and got passed around for a week as we hung out with them. Your cousin Ava followed you everywhere you went, held you half the days, and gave you more kisses than I think even I have ever given you. You also met your Merkley grandparents while you were in the hospital. Luckily they stayed around long enough to see you at home too, and you met Jaden, Sophie, and Thomas. You had quite the busy month.

You were circumcised at 3 weeks (we had to wait until you were completely clear of your sickness), and it went really smooth! However, you suddenly started screaming alll day long soon after and I was convinced I had ruined your life and your poor penis was hurting and when i took you into the doctor she looked at it and said it looked perfect, but your stomach was rock hard and it seemed like you had colic. WONDERFUL. We had 3 days and nights (nights were muuuuccchhh worse) of a very angry. You were screaming and inconsolable. I started looking into acid reflux and convinced myself you had that and was about to go into the doctor when suddenly, you stopped. You still have fussy bouts where it's clear your stomach hurts, but you don't scream like you did. Maybe it was something I ate, just glad it didn't last long!

You are such a sweet baby. You are definitely have more fussy periods than your big sister did, but for the most part, you are very content and sweet. You are so alert, and have been for a while. You can be awake for several hours a day without problem. You just look around at everyone and everything. You love looking out the window. You started making eye contact really early, and I LOVE it! You will stare into my eyes for so long. You follow us with your eyes around the room as we walk. You love to be talked to. If you're ever fussy, I pick you up and just start talking to you and you instantly get quiet and just stare at me. You also go cross eyed alllllll the time and it's pretty funny.

You are big into your pacifier, and that's been really awesome on your fussy days. The nurses at Primary's really forced the pacifier on you but I am kinda glad. Sadie never took one, and sometimes I really wished I could shut her up with a tiny piece of plastic, haha. Speaking of Sadie, I meant it when I said she is obsessed with you. She talks about you all day, worries about you when you cry, steals your pacifiers, kisses you, rubs her face on yours, gets in your face and yells, "hi baby!!!!", rubs your head about 800 times a day, blows you kisses, brings you blankets, holds your hands, asks where you are every time she wakes up, and gets a little protective when other people want to hold you. You are her favorite thing in the world. It makes me so happy to watch.

Your hair is definitely red, and it's so cute. But you are slowly losing it. My bets are on you being blond like your sister. You have the same blond eyebrows and eyelashes that she did. You are already packing on the weight and look so much bigger than when you were born! You were weighed a week ago and you were 8.5 pounds. Which makes me laugh a little because some babies are born that big, or bigger. You are looking more and more like your own person, but still A LOT like Sadie. Her head was already bigger and chubbier at this point though. haha. Maybe you'll have a normal sized head!

You sleep well enough. Nothing amazing, but nothing rough. Pretty standard newborn stuff. Most nights you give me a 4-hour stretch at first, and then go 2-3 hours after that. You put yourself back to sleep which is awesome. During the day you eat every 2 hours on the dot. You have an awesome internal clock, haha. You have nursed well from the second you were born, and I am thankful for that. You sneeze ALL the time and it's so friggin cute!!! You do this cute little noise after and I die everytime.

I thought I wouldn't have much to write about since you can't really do much right now, but look, I've typed a novel. I'll just end saying we love having you in our home and family. I can't believe we ever lived without you!! Despite the craziness of the month, you have made the transition to two kids quite easy. We love you so much!!