Perspective

Sometimes, I get grumpy for no reason.

Sometimes, I get frustrated with life. Sometimes, I get annoyed when I complain about my day and Nathan doesn't react exactly the way I want him to. Sometimes, I am just plain whiney and high-maintenance and stupid.

But sometimes, the Lord blesses me with the most tender of moments when I look over at my sweet fiance and remember my 2 years without him. I remember the pain I felt when he left. I remember crying myself to sleep for weeks. I remember weekends alone and balling as I lied through my teeth and wrote letters proclaiming all was well and I missed him but was doing just great. I remember the constant sting of loneliness and the loss of my better half. I remember pining for just the sound of his voice or a few seconds of instant communication. I remember empty. I remember lost. I remember just how much I truly, truly love him. I remember thinking that when I got him back again, I would never take him for granted.

Sometimes it still amazes me that if I want to talk to him, I can. Anytime I want! Some days as I drive over to see him, I get giddy remembering how long I waited for these days; the days we could be together again. Sometimes I am overwhelmed at the fact that I get all I ever wanted. It's so hard to believe that he is truly mine. There's no more waiting, there's no more pain. Every bump I go through in life, I get to have him next to me. I seriously think I hit the jackpot. I can't imagine anyone more perfect in the entire world. And I want to do my best to always remember that.