this post is long and nostalgic but there's totally a point somewhere

Today is my day off work so I thought I would be productive.
Instead, I Facebook stalked.
Somehow I found myself on an old friend's profile.
A friend who was once a HUGE part of my life at one point.
A friend who I haven't talked to in years.
And not because of a falling out, but because life happened.
I can remember this friend giving me advice on dating situations.
I can remember him giving me a ride some where and his truck skidding out on back ice and being absolutely terrified.
I can remember introducing him to Nathan and worrying about whether or not he would approve.
I can remember him meeting a girl too and eventually getting married.
It's weird that this one person who for 1 year of my life participated in my every day, is a complete stranger to me now.
He was part of a big group of friends who were really more like family.
Stalking him led to stalking all of them and thinking about the things we used to do.

These were my main ladies, and I am still in touch with them all. Especially Jenna. She's been a BFF since we were 8. I lived with each one of them at different times. I love them.

Birthday parties, "the Oscars" game, snow ball fights, the Superbowl, Chillis, pizza bagel Sundays, Jump on It, roller skating, the Nicklecade, Studio 600, Del Taco, American Idol parties, peanut butter jelly time, FHE, dancing, 3 Jasons, the finger dancing, suspended licenses, late night taco bell, Lost, guitar hero, milkshakes, taco Tuesday, matching bracelets, FC, Miley Cyrus.. so many good times. Everyone deserves a college family and experience like this.

These people saved my life. I have so many fond memories looking back at this time. We were a family. And only one thing could and did separate us- serious relationships. All but a couple of us are now married and those of us who are married, all married the people we met while this group was our home base. We all brought those future spouses to meet the others. I still remember bringing Nathan to Teresa's birthday party and being so nervous that they wouldn't like him. Don't worry. They did. Or at least they told me they did!

This post today isn't necessarily inspired but just these people or that time in my life in particular. More just about life and how strange it is and how quickly it moves on. How someone whom you love with all your heart, might be a stranger 5 years down the road. And not that that's always a bad thing. Sometimes life just goes that way. And that's okay.

I learned a lot from my Provo family. I am glad we had the time together that we did. I think we all helped prepare each other for what was coming next. And we had a lot of fun along the way.

You know how when you look back at pictures of you when you were a little kid and you feel like that wasn't even your life? That's how I'm starting to feel about my early college years and it's just so strange to me.

 Losing Madelyn shook me up in so many ways and it has made me incredibly nostalgic. It's made me so thankful for many things and made me realize how our lives are no accident or coincidence. Every step has a reason, has a purpose. And when we don't need that part anymore, we move on. It brings me hope that although the pain from this past 6 months is still so fresh, one day I'll look back with perspective and time on my side. One day I'll understand the reason and purpose. Just as I thought that group of friends was just a group of friends during that time, I will be able to see that this trial is not just another trial. There's meaning. There's purpose. There's a future.

I love my life. I wouldn't trade any step of it for a second. I am thankful for the people who made me laugh and helped me grow and prepared me for my amazing husband and the wonderful life we share together. I know in 10 years, I'll look back at this time and feel like it's so distant. Life just keeps on going. We all move on.