how to bathe a crazy cat

There is nothing Lady hates more in the world than bath time. But every once in a while, she needs a bath. She had gotten dirty while playing on our balcony so she needed to be bathed, and Nathan decided to use the event as a speech for his public speaking class. He had to give a "how to" speech with visual aides. So we (yep, I sometimes do my husbands home work) made a powerpoint on how to bathe a cat. I will teach you as well..

HOW TO BATHE A CRAZY CAT:

Make sure the bather is wearing something that covers her arms. Also, have your wife do it instead of you.

Get everything ready. Fill the bath up a couple inches with luke-warm water. 

Attempt to put the cat in the bath tub.

If you have a ridiculously strong and insane cat, she will thrash about and scream like a human and somehow always get herself turned around and begin climbing up your body. It will literally be impossible to keep her in the water. She will be visibly upset.

Next you will comfort her as she clings to your neck. You will think that it might be easier to get her into the sink. You will be wrong.

(if you needed further proof that my cat is half human, look at how I'm holding her in the second photo. She loves to be carried around like a baby. I will make my breakfast in the morning just holding her like that while she watches)

She will have a strange ability to arch her back and spin around no matter how hard you shove her into the sink.

You will then resort to holding her down on the counter on top of a towel and bringing hand fulls of water over to wet her and wash her. It will be hard and frustrating. But she will sit still. For some reason.

When you are done with the painstaking process, she will quickly climb up you so fast you don't have a second to think.

Then you will dry her off and she will want to cuddle. Even though she kind of hates you.

Then give her some treats so she can learn to ease her pain with food.

Before and After.

Basically, bathing a cat is the worst.

And she might try to get back at you by leaving you a "treat." Be prepared for that.