Perfection

I have been thinking about blogging about this topic for a while but never did. But I thought a lot about it this weekend after some experiences with some friends and I decided it's time.

So fairytales. They're nice right? Sure. But they don't exist. Maybe I am old and cynical, but it's what I have come to believe.

I think we get so wrapped up in how things "should" be that we don't realzie how amazing they already are. I am victim of this all the time. Except I think the biggest problem is not books and movies and fairytales, but comparrison to other people's lives.

We have the internet to thank for a lot of it. On Facebook, no one (except for middle school girls and attention seekers) is posting statuses on how hard their relationship is or the challenges they are facing or how bad life sucks sometimes. What do you show on your facebook and blogs? The good things. The happy bits of your life. No one wants others to think that their life sucks. Same thing when talking to other people. Unless you are a very close friend or family member, I am not going to unload my problems on you. So I can see how it makes sense that others may think I lead a "fairytale" life because the good is what I share. I don't share the bad. Who wants to sit and listen to me complain for hours? It's just not fun guys. Ask Nathan or Katie or my mom.

Now this isn't some post where I reveal how terrible my life is. In fact, my life right now is the best it has ever been. But is it "perfect"? No. But over the years I have learned that perfection doesn't mean happiness. I love the bumps that come along with teaching 8th grade and being married and growing up and life in general. If you're expecting perfection, you are going to be sadly let down.

These thoughts stem from comments I have gotten from several friends about not knowing if a decision was right or a person was "the one" because things weren't perfect. I've heard things like "but we fight sometimes" or "but it's really hard." Then there is my favorite: "But it's a lot harder for us than it is for you and Nathan." I have gotten this from a lot of people from the begining of our relationship over 4 years ago. Nathan and I are an easy going couple for the most part. We mesh together well, have a lot of fun, and have few arguments. That's just the way we work. Other couples work different ways. But we still have plenty of hard times and challenges. (Remember that whole mission thing). It hasn't always been easy and it won't always be, but that's not what we should expect anyways.

I am not trying to stand on a soapbox because I do this same kind of thing all the time. The comparing and the scrutinizing of my own life. Wondering why some seem to have it so easy when in reality, they have a whole life full of challenges I will never understand. It just makes me sad when I see people throw something away just because it needed some work.

I guess what I am trying to say is that my life isn't perfect, but it is perfect for me. I think that's what we all need to do; find our own definition of perfection and stop using the world's or what other's seem to think perfection is.

My definition of perfect is a classroom full of hyper active 14-year-old boys who work quietly for 15 minutes straight before turning the room up-side-down. It's diet coke from McDonald's after work. It's when a parent calls me back the day I leave them the message. It's when all I have to do is lean forward and Nathan knows I need a back scratch. It's a clean apartment and empty trash cans. It's a husband who always puts me first and makes me laugh. It's a loud family with no boundaries and filter who loves each other to death even though we fight. It's sunshine and music and the beach. It's reading Hunger Games to Nathan while he falls asleep. It's simple, but perfect for me.

Annnnddd... rant done.