January Book

One of my New Years Resolutions was to read more books. I am a reading and language arts teacher for Heaven's sake. I should be reading in my spare time! Not stalking facebook.So I want to read a book every month.

I thought for January I would finish reading "Crossed" which is the sequel to "Matched." My friend lent it to me like a year ago (yes Jenna, I still have it and it isn't lost anymore!) but I CANNOT get into it!! I loved the first book even if it was kinda like a Hunger Games copycat and I still think she chose the wrong guy. But this book has been so dreadfully boring. And I am halfway through it. I have given it a chance and can't belive they are still just walking through a big canyon looking for each other. Still? Seriously?

So anyways. I tried finishing it this month and it didn't work. So instead I went to one of my many baby books. I was excited about this one. It's called "Baby Proofing Your Marriage."

I saw this book on pinterest and read a lot of good reviews about it so I decided to get it. I am gad I did.  Up until this point, my main concerns have been 1. How am I going to keep a baby alive? and 2. How are we going to make enough money when I quit my job?

I hadn't thought too much about the marriage part. I know, I'm a bad person. Nathan and I have always had a mellow and easy relationship. Ever since we were wee little 18-year-olds. (I attribute this all to Nathan by the way. He is so easy going and let's me be the crazy lady I am). We have had very few arguments and they never get heated. We never get sick of each other. We have a lot of fun and marriage has been pretty easy for us. But I know come May, a lot of things are going to change.

This book was written by 3 women who have each had several kids and been through it all. I liked that it was from a mother's point of view and not a psychologist's. It's funny and light-hearted and very real. They don't sugar coat anything.

I do warn however, the stories and advice are all worst case scenario. They can seem a bit negative and scary at times, but they do warn you that you won't face all the problems they talk about so you just have to take it with a grain of salt and decide what applies to you and your marriage. (Some of the dad's they interview are JERKS. I am really glad I have an awesome dad and an awesome husband).

It is also geared more towards women; it's written by women so that makes sense. I didn't have Nathan read the whole thing because I feel like he would have been so bored. I highlighted and flagged pages for him and we just talked about those ones.

I would definitely recommend this book to anyone having a baby anytime in the future. Really insightful and entertaining and informative. Obviously, every marriage and family is different. But I think they spoke generally enough that you will be able to relate to most of the book.

Now here's to attempting "Crossed" in February..

So I've been pregnant half a year

This week marks 6 months for this little corn-sized baby in my uterus.

SIX MONTHS!!!

I can't believe how fast it's going. I like this whole pregnancy thing.
(Also, isn't it weird that she's corn-sized?! That's a weird shape to be).

+ She is kicking like CRAZY and I freaking love it so much!! It's nice since I am a paranoid freak. Now I know she is alive and well in there. But I also just love feeling her move around in me and beat me up a little bit. It's so precious. Sometimes she wakes me up in the middle of the night and I don't even care. I'll just lay there and feel her move. It's so precious. Also, I like the feeling of a real kick way better than the flutters I was feeling before. Those are weird.

+ Nathan gets to feel her kick all the time too. She is mostly active at night which I don't mind since I don't see Nathan during the day. We can also see her move from the outside. It's nuts! Sometimes we will just lay in bed and watch my stomach for 30 minutes while she kicks and punches the crap out of it. She is a strong one. And a hyper one. 

+ Sometimes if Nathan pushes on my belly, she kicks him back. I think it's hilarious. It's so fun to see her little personality already.

+ All of those bullet points had to do with her kicking. Can you tell I love it?

+ I don't really have any food aversions anymore but fast food makes me feel sick after I eat it. Which makes me sad because it tastes so good while I am eating it.

+ I haven't started swelling yet.. I just keep waiting for it.

+ Sleeping is getting harder but still manageable. My hips have started to hurt pretty bad. But I have about a billion pillows all around me. Poor Nathan. I have taken over the bed. It's like my own island of pillows.

+ I still crave string cheese 24/7. It's really the only thing I have craved. And I want it so bad. All the time. 

+ I do also occasionally crave grapes. Good thing they aren't in season right now and cost way too much money.

 + I go in for my big diabetes test thing on Friday. I am not all that worried about the drink. Fingers crossed for good results!

+ Stangers notice I am pregnant now and ask me about it. It's fun! I always want to pretend that I'm not pregnant and watch them get uncomfortable. That's mean though.

+ A student from last year came in to see me and freaked out when he saw my stomach, even though he knew I was pregnant. He said, "I mean, I knew there was a baby in there, but now I can actually tell. I just never saw you as the pregnant type!" I'm not sure what that means.

+ I spend hours online designing the nursery. It's a sickness.

+ She likes to hang out on my left side. Always. My left side sticks out further because she likes it better over there. It's probably because my bangs sweep to the left. There must be some scientific connection between bangs and babies.
+ It is slowly, very slowly, starting to feel a tiny bit real. I still can't wrap my mind around the fact that I am making a human that I get to keep forever, but feeling her move has taken this to a whole new level.
+ I really love being pregnant. Of course I want her here, but I love this time to be so close to her and to enjoy the alone time with my husband and to think about the amazing thing my body is doing.

I don't know how to just stand and smile normal. I can't control myself.

This weekend..

• We visited the NPS store for the first time. It's like a thrift store on crack. Our favorite part though was the special room for "high end" and valuable things. We found some treasures. I just want to know what rick people are spending hundreds, sometime thousands, of dollars on these things?

• I saw a pigeon on our balcony and I freaked out. I know it's those guys from last summer. They are back for revenge. Or they just wanna crap all over the balcony again.
• We got Coldstone.

• We headed up to Park City to try and escape the inversion only to find it was still gross up there. But we got some food and saw a little bit of Sundance.

• I read some of my new book while Nathan did home work.

• I successfully made brownies from scratch. Not from a box. Nom nom nom!
• Sunday morning before church we decided to throw some stuff in the crock pot for dinner but we hadn't gone grocery shopping in a while. So we ended up throwing in some frozen chicken and a can of enchilada sauce. We shredded the chicken and put it on tacos and it was bomb and I wondered how anyone cooked before crock pots.
• I had this conversation with Jenna. It was great. I<3autocorrect.

• We were super stoked to wake up to wonderful weather Sunday morning.
• We were very un-stoked to leave church in a blizzard.
• We got new callings after church. We are officially Ward Missionaries and super excited about it!
• I had really good intentions of doing all my 9,000 progress reports and other form of paperwork so I wouldn't have to stay late on Monday at work. But alas.. I did nothing.
• Weekends with Nathan are the bomb.

Nursery Inspiration

You guys. I am nursery obsessed.

Unfortunately, we are still living in our one bedroom apartment until the end of February.

So all the planning is driving me even more crazy because we don't have the room to decorate yet.

I spent weeks debating over it was going to look like, but now I have a plan.

THANKS PINTEREST AND ETSY!

It all started when I saw this picture:

And I decided I HAD to have a coral and white nursery. I had already planned on having a jungle animal kind of theme so the little animals just further showed me this is what I wanted. Dannnngg I wish we could paint our walls. 

Coral bedding was nearly impossible to find. 

Like.. impossible.
Everything is a sickening color of girly-girl, pepto bismal pink.

You could have some coral bedding custom made on Etsy.. for almost $400. No thanks.

But I found this blanket and I knew it was it.

I ordered it and have now built the nursery around this blanket.

I found the same elephant fabric and ordered it to make the bed skirt.

The crib we are getting white and so are the sheets. 

We found a dresser/changing table in white too.

I have been going to pinterest for all my wall decor ideas.

I have found some adorable printables and learned how to make my own.

Pinterest has seriously been my inspiration for everything.

I want to do something similar with her name on the wall above her crib.

ps. We aren't naming her Sofia.

 Mmmmm.. I want.

 

 Obsessed with this.

And this mobile. What's with me and elephants?

I know you don't care about the nursery as much as I do. But I am a woman obsessed.

This whole "nesting" thing is super real. And super weird. And super awesome.

Our Love Story pt13: The Homecoming

Previous posts here.

 Here we are, at the final love story post.
I can already hear how depressed you are.
This story is incredibly dear to me so I am sorry if I overload you with details.

I've actually never blogged about the specifics, 

so I want this documented before the Alzheimer's sets in.

This is also the ending to the love story posts.

If you wanna continue in the story.. then read my blog!

It was 11am on Wednesday December 21, 2011 when I saw Nathan again for the first time.

He had come home the day before while I was stuck in Utah at work.

He was released that night, and I left at 6am the next morning to see him.

He had called me after he was released.

When I answered, he sat in silence because he was so nervous.

Then he said, "Hi!" and we both said hi back and forth like 10 times.

And then the conversation flowed like we had never been apart. 

It was just the two of us when we met up, just how I had wanted it.

We were at a park in his home town of Logandale.

I pulled up and he was standing there smiling bigger than I had ever seen.

I got out of the car and like an idiot just said, "Hi!" (We seemed to like that word).

We ran in for a hug and when I pulled back, he kissed me. (So much for awkward RMs).

I don't remember too much of what was said but I remember him telling me he missed my hair and me telling him he smelled like Salt Lake.

Then we went on a drive and talked about all kinds of things.

I spent half my Christmas break in Logandale and he spent half with my family in Arizona.

There were definitely a ton of adjustments and it wasn't always easy, but we were also falling back in love so fast. I knew the adjustments were temporary and I knew we would be just fine.

We rang in the New Year with my family in Arizona and a few hours later he gave me a very special present. A HUGE, FAT RING!

And now we get to live happily ever after!

WAHOOO!!!!

engagement post
wedding post 1 2 3 4
honeymoon post 

 

Things that I maybe did today..

• Left for work on time for the first time in weeks.
• Was still late for work because the traffic light God's are out to get me.
• Ate my lunch in the McDonald's parking lot because I needed to escape my school but I wanted to use the Internet.
• Got 2 cream cheese brownies at Kneader's drive-thru and ate them both before I got back to work.
• Drank diet coke. (Yeah, I'm pregnant and have soda sometimes. Go ahead. Judge me).
• Stood in shock when only 2 of my 18 language arts students turned in their 300 point project that they had 2 weeks to complete.
• Cried at my desk during one of the passing periods.
•  Threatened to quit. Only to myself though.
• Thought it was Thursday. It isn't Thursday.
• Made a big deal about my nephew's birthday. But his birthday is Thursday. Today isn't Thursday.
• Had a really funny group text message convo with all of my sibling-in-laws that started with them making fun of me for thinking it was Thursday, and then turned into pictures of the moon.
• Asked this question 900 times: What are the 3 phases of matter?
• Was met by blank stares 901 times.
• Cried in the bathroom. I only felt slightly pathetic.
• Felt super sick to my stomach after eating two cream cheese brownies.
• Kept combining the words "iPod" and "iPhone" when talking about a writing prompt my kids were to respond to about technology in the classroom. I kept say "iPhod." At least it wasn't "iPood."
• Thought my mic system in my classroom was broken for the entire morning. Turns out I never turned it on.

So maybe it has been one of those days.
Just keep swimming, right?
RIGHT?!?!
Right.

ps. Hope this blog doesn't scare potential resource teachers away from the job. Because it isn't always like this. Just read back to my job last year. I loved it more than anything.

Love.

Happy MLK day.

I think it's a good day to remember his wise words and all love each other a little more.

Here's what I love today:

• 4 day weekends that recharge my batteries like nothing else.
• Finding out we officially have a new apartment to move into next month.
• Getting to stay in our same complex, just upgrading. This is going to be the easiest move ever.
• Cookies.
• Taco salad.
• Re-watching One Tree Hill.
• Getting to have lunch with my husband on a weekday.
• My husband in general. I really like that guy.
• Waking up to the baby doing aerobics in my stomach.
• The fact that it's not 0 degrees today.
• My new phone case.
• The temple.
• Sleeping in.
• Finding a website that lets you create your own printables and going crazy making all kinds of fun things for the nursery.
• Finding a really good novel to read with my reading class. They might even start to enjoy 6th period. Maybe.
• Planning a surprise Valentine's Day that I could probably post all about on here because Nathan doesn't read this blog.
• Having an awesome family.
• Having awesome in laws.
• My precious Nana and Papa are celebrating 52 years together today.
• Only around 120 days until this baby is supposed to make her appearance! 
• The fact that after spending 4 days teaching my students about apostrophes and when to actually use them, I think they grasped it. (Finger crossed when we do our review tomorrow morning that it didn't all fly out their heads over the long weekend).
• Talks in sacrament meeting that are just what you need to hear.
• Good friends found in unexpected places.
• Going outside your comfort zone and having a wonderful time.
• Can I say cookies again? I'm gonna say cookies again.
• My 3 adorable nephews and 1 adorable niece. Their awesomeness makes me all the more excited to have this baby.
• Having a blog that helps me procrastinate doing the things I should be doing right now. Like working out.
• Let's say cookies again.

Why I like today

+ Last night I fell asleep in my warm bed listening to my husband next to me,  laughing to Friends. Recently, my awesome sister-in-law lent us all 10 seasons! Friends has been an obsession of mine and my sisters' for years. I own a couple seasons and Nathan has seen those, but it's been fun to watch them all of them with him. I love that he loves it. And that he loves Chandler as much as I do.

+ I slept in until 930 and didn't have to get up to pee once!

+ We got ready and headed to Kneaders at city creek. If you have not had Kneaders breakfast, specifically the french toast, we cannot be friend until you do. It is literally, the most delicious thing in the world. I also ordered a brownie with my breakfast. And I was not ashamed.

+ After breakfast we headed to Bountiful to go to the temple since Salt Lake was closed. I think there was a billion people there but we made it just in time for our session. And it was an incredible session. I felt a lot of peace and comfort that I have very much been needing.

+ Feeling wee little baby kicks while in the temple with your husband is kinda the best thing ever.

+ We got to park in the paring garage at the temple and by the time our session was over, out car was still warm! It's a freaking miracle.

+ Nathan's hair was really big and swoopy today.

+ My weather app says it will be in the 40s on Thursday.

+ We went grocery shopping. I love going grocery shopping but I hate doing it alone. Today I didn't have to go alone!

+In the afternoon I sprawled across most of the couch and napped while Nathan crammed in the corner of the couch and did homework. I took one of those magical naps. The kind where you wake up and feel amazing. Like you could run a marathon. Or at least think about running a marathon. One day.

+ We finally saw Brave. It was cute. But also kinda weird. What can ya do?

+ Since we ate pretty much the most unhealthy breakfast possible, I made fruit salad for my dinner. And it was delicious.

+ I cleaned the house and did the laundry on Thursday so there was no chores for us to do today!

+ We ended the night in a very familiar way.. watching Friends in bed. It's our favorite thing to do these days.

Our Love Story pt12: Two Years Apart

Previous posts here.

I could write a whole blog about how those two years were. (In fact, I did. Refer to my old blog for depressingness).

But I will try my best to sum up the best and craziest 2 years of my life.

First few months (Jan10'-March10'): Crazy mess. Cried a lot and didn't really know how to function. I drove by the MTC almost every single day he was there. The landlord of the place I was living it when to prison for fraud and we had to move in 30 days. Then our heat broke and no one would come fix it without our landlord's permission.. who was in prison. Things started looking up when I found a Facebook support group for missionary girlfriends. (Seriously, I did. And it saved my life. Don't judge me). Met some of my very best friends in that group and things started getting better. I was teaching preschool during the day and going to BYU at night for my Special Ed degree.

Nathan was craaazzzyy into the work! He worked so hard and seriously had no trouble becoming a missionary. He was the bomb. He told me he was so busy he didn't miss home very much and it made me so happy! He wasn't a depressed, whiny missionary. He was a stud missionary.

Rest of the first year (April 10'-Dec 10'): Nathan moved up in leadership positions very quickly and fell in love with Missouri. I progressed in my schooling and was offered internships that I ended up turning down. I finished out my time at BYU and fell into the swing of having a boyfriend who wasn't really a boyfriend. I felt really excited about my future career, branched out and made new friends, and really started to build a new life.

Beginning of second year (Jan 11'-April 11'): The beginning was ROUGH. Similar start to the first year. I started student teaching which was wonderful but a challenge. I was teaching 45 minutes away, commuting in the winter and I got seasonal depression bbaadd. Then I went through a letter drought. 6 weeks, no letters. I know for some missionaries that is normal. But Nathan was only 2 states away and he had written me every week up until that point so I freaked out. But he made up for it later. He was just a busy man. Can't blame him. Although I do. I came out of my funk in April, just in time to finish student teaching, graduate BYU, get a job, and move out to the big city with my friend Ashley!

 

Rest of second year (May 11'-December 11'): The rest of the year flew by! And it was some of the happiest memories of my life. I started a summer teaching job and a permanent one in the Fall. I had one of the funnest Summers of my life and even dated a little. Nathan became District Leader and continued kicking butt. He was so strong and so consistent his whole mission. It made things so much easier for me. He also got a release date in late September. His mission president decided to send his whole district home 2 weeks early so they could be home for Christmas and in time to start school. That was probably the most exciting news I had ever received. We both worked hard through the fall and got ready for each other.

We wrote weekly and consistently.

I sent a package every month.

We passed a recorder back and forth.

We had very little miscommunication.

We follow the rules by the book. When his mission president changed the email rule about 8 months into his mission saying ti was now family only, it was hard, but I am proud of the way we knew it was time to sacrifice our love for something greater. Our time would come.

By the time Fall 2011 came was ending, I really had few doubts about how my life was going to end up.

weird day. weird blog post.

Today is a weird day.

I didn't sleep well last night because I have been having terrible nightmares which I've never had before so I am guessing it's a pregnancy thing, and then Nathan had to stay awake to do home work and I had to go to bed before him for the first time ever. It was strange. I also got some crazy news yesterday that my brain is still wrapping around. Plus today I have two big meetings, I got into an argument with a co-worker who has continually tried to push me around and I stood my ground this time, and all my grades are due in a few hours. I just feel weird. And I have puffy eyes. And sore calves.

I always teach my students to not begin sentences with the word and. I do it all the time on my blog. I don't even feel bad. No one is grading my blog for correct sentence structure! Unless.. are you grading my blog for correct sentence structure?

Yesterday I was so productive. Both at work and at home. I have a feeling that is not going to happen today. I get to grab dinner with bff JennaG and then my 4 day weekend starts. That's right, FOUR DAY WEEKEND. If you want to claim it's unfair, I challenge you to work one day at my job. Then we can talk. We can talk even if you don't want to work at my job; just become better friends or something.

If you enjoy American history combined with popular pop jams from a few years ago, check out this video asap. I co-teach a US history class every day. I have learned so much doing it the past 2 years and I have seriously become a lover of all things history. Which sounds weird but it feels warm on the inside. My co-teacher, Brady, showed this video today and I died. Stupid King George. He should have known.

Speaking of co-teaching, I also co-teach an 8th grade science class if you didn't know. This was hard for me when I started out last year because Science was never a huge interest of mine. But now half way through my second year of it, I love it! Yesterday I took my struggling kids and did a whole lesson on Chemistry. I felt like a genius. Guys, I barely passed Chemistry in high school. This was a big deal for me.

I get hungry for lunch at 10am. It's a problem. Then I'm hungry for dinner at 3. Then ready for second dinner at 8.

How come every time I turn on Netflix to find a new show or movie to watch, I always end up re-watching One Tree Hill. Why does that show make me so happy? Why did I dream the other night that I had to protect Nathan Scott from being shout outside the church building where I used to go to seminary? Can you even answer any of these questions?

I feel uncomfortable if someone else pours my milk and cereal. Luckily Nathan has learned that it's something I need to do myself. I like a very specific amount of milk and cereal. Mostly way too much cereal and even more milk.

I love watching my kids be "sneaky." They think I don't notice them eating and it cracks me up. They make all this noise with the wrapper then bend all awkwardly then shove it super fast in their mouths. Haha it's awesome. Most of the time I just stare at them while they try so hard not to chew and blow their cover. Homeboy, your cover was already blown.

I call my male students homeboy all the time. Is that unprofessional? Eh.. I don't care. I also call them slim shady sometimes too.

Is it lunch time yet?

Yesterday a student accused me of child abuse because I was eating a banana and "the last thing a hungry baby wants is a terrible banana." He apparently remembers a time in his mother's womb when she ate a banana and he hated it.

Hey I took a break and now I am back. I had one of my meetings. The dad was kinda a jerk to me. Oh well. It's a weird day anyways.

Continuing on with the weird theme, here are some weird pictures.


We went to Zupas last night because we are obsessed. TSA panini and a chicken chop salad. I diiieeeed.

Here are some freaking awesome pacifiers my mom sent us. I love them.

I played with my sewing machine this weekend. It is awesome.

This is the snow on the del taco benches 2 days after the storm. I hate snow.

Does it make me a bad person that sometimes I make Nathan strategically wait after Sacrament meeting so certain people don't find us and sit by us in Sunday School. They are nice people. But they are kinda obsessed with us. I need breathing room guys.

I haven't been drinking enough water today.

Gulp, gulp, gulp! That was the sound of me drinking more water.

Today someone called me, "Mrs. Dude Teacher Lady" and everyone was laughing so hard. I don't think it's offensive (some teachers are way too uptight) but I just legitimately thought it was dumb so I said, "Guys, that's not even funny." And everyone stopped laughing. It was so weird. It's like the felt compelled to laugh until I let them know they don't have to laugh at dumb jokes.

And.. that's really all I have to say.

Halfway!

This blog is totally turning into a baby blog. But babies encompass 99% of my thoughts so that seems pretty accurate.

I can't believe I am over half way done with this pregnancy. It's going so fast but at the same time, I feel like we found out forever ago!

It hit me the other day that I am starting to feel normal again. I remember reading in one of my pregnant books a few months back that most women in their second trimester feel really good and sometimes even forget that they are pregnant. I felt like that was impossible. I was already in my second trimester and still feeling like a zombie and a lot of foods still sounded disgusting. But yesterday I didn't need a nap. And I've started to be okay with all foods again. My stomach never hurts. I eat lunch with my coworkers again instead of napping at my desk. I started making dinner again and keeping the house really clean. I'm feeling like me again! Now I know this won't last. I know the third trimester will kick my butt and I am about to get suuuppeer uncomfortable. So I'm going to enjoy this while I can.

Here's my bulleted update list that you were hoping for:

-Still feeling little flutters from the inside and just a little bit from the outside. I wish I felt her more often though. I'm a paranoid mama.

-Feeling like I'm growing every day, but still not huge. But strangers are being able to tell now. It's nice to not just look chubby.

-I need to stop buying baby clothes. I'm at least being smart and not getting newborn stuff. I'm trying to spread it all out through 12 months.

-I eat bagels and cereal for most meals.

-I'm obsessed with string cheese. I want it all the time.

-Recently my love for fruit came back (fruit and veggies made me nauseous for the first few months) and I want grapes and cantaloupe with every meal.

-Most vegetables still make me sick so I stated drinking low sodium V8 to make up for it. It's super gross, but I can down it fast so it's better than vegetables for my nausea.

-My hormones are probably the only thing not balancing out right now. Everything makes me cry. Or makes me irritated.

-I can't sleep on my stomach anymore which is sad news but I can still sleep really well so I'm not gonna complain haha.

-We had her 20 week ultrasound on January 4th. She was bouncing all around again. She's gonna be a hyper one!

-Everything looked great at the ultrasound! They say she is healthy and everything is growing and progressing the way it should.

-Bending over feels weird.

-I've been so good at exercising. Except that whole Christmas break thing. I pretty much did no physical activity for 2 straight weeks. But before and after I have been pretty consistent. Nothing intense, but I usually walk for a mile to a mile and a half and then do some simple arms and legs things about 5 days a week. This week I worked out every day! But I don't expect that to happen too often.

-We've been looking around for a bigger place to live. Originally we wanted to get it of down town. But the more we look around and pray about it, the more we feel like we should stay down here.. We'll see! There's a possibility we could be moving the beginning of next month! Which would be fine by me. We need a room to store all this baby crap and I am more than ready to start decorating a nursery!

-Oh and also I pee all the time. Like.. All the time. Seriously.

This is no fancy picture, but I'm lazy so Instagram it is! I'm definitely growing!!

hey guess what?

NATHAN FELT THE BABY MOVE!

I was feeling kicks that felt different than usual, so I put my hand on my stomach and realized I could feel them ever-so-slightly from the outside. I grabbed Nathan's hand and we had to sit there for a while but he felt her! A few times! He was so happy. He kept saying, "She's in there!"

 It was a happy Sunday activity :)

Our Love Story pt11: Saying Goodbye

Previous posts here.

We lived up the last two months together. We got everything he needed and had a few last adventures. Also, this post has a ton of pictures.

One of my favorite nights we ever had together was our last night together in Utah. We were both leaving the next day to spend Christmas with our families and wouldn't be in Utah together again for 2 years. So we took a little trip down memory lane and relieved our last 3 years knowing each and dating in Utah. Most of these pictures will have little significance to the outside observer. But to us, the represent the dating stage of our love story!

We both went home to our families the next day. His in Nevada. Mine in California. I spent a few days with my family then flew out on Christmas night to spend a few days with Nathan and attend his farewell in Nevada. My awesome family came the night before his farewell and it was so fun to have our families meet.

Christmas night!

Before his Farewell.

Our siblings together at the luncheon after the Farewell.

I drove back with my family to California for my cousin's wedding and to celebrate family birthdays after Nathan's farewell. I was able to stay pretty emotionally stable all Christmas break until the night before I was going to fly back to Nevada the second time. I was going to spend a few more days with Nathan and his family, and then we would say goodbye and I would fly back to Utah. I was laying in my bed in my house the night before I was going back to see him and I realized that after I left here, it was time to say goodbye. I wouldn't come back to this house with Nathan for 2 years. After I left my home that next morning, I knew my life was going to be drastically different. I knew I would be drastically different. That's when the tears came and I got a blessing from my dad. I was still a mess as I flew out to Nathan's though. We worked hard to enjoy New Years and the last few days together. There was one night where I couldn't stop crying and then he started crying and so we decided to not even try to sleep and instead to eat peanut butter sandwiches and play video games until we weren't sad anymore.

New Years Eve 2009

I flew back to Utah on Monday, January 4th to start school. The night before we decided to stay in Vegas with Nathan's sister and brother-in-law, Amanda and Brad, so our trip to the airport would be shorter since my flight was ridiculously early. We ate food and hung out with Amanda and Brad until they went to sleep. Because we are idiots, we decided to stay up all night so we wouldn't miss a minute of our time left together. All it really did was make us more emotional and tired. I don't even remember what we did. But at 5am, we were leaving for the airport and I was already crying.

The last picture we took together.

Nathan walked me to security. We kissed and hugged goodbye. He stood and watched as I waited in line. I kept looking back at him and every time my heart would break. I cannot explain the pain I felt that day. It was of course all worth it and I wanted him to go on a mission more than anything, but that doesn't lessen the sting of saying goodbye to the one you love for 2 years. Eck, even just writing about it is making me sick.

I cried on my flight back. Nathan called me when I landed and it made me feel better, but I still couldn't believe I wasn't going to see him again. He was set apart that night, drove out to Utah the next day, and called me before he entered the MTC on Wednesday. And that was it. Boom, bang. He was gone.

To say I was a mess would be an understatement.