Ode to My Valentine

WARNING: I am going to be super mushy in this post. When it comes to my husband, I always want to be mushy but Valentine's gives me a good excuse. Plus this is our last Valentine's day without babies and I am feeling very sentimental. So if you don't like mushy stuff, stop reading. Or you can be like my family and keep reading and then make fun of me later. Whatever floats your boat!

Dear Valentine, 

The first Valentine's day we ever spent together was 5 years ago. I had been on a date with someone else. It went well but ended early, so I decided to stop by my best friend's house and tell him all about it. I realize now what a stupid girl I was and how it probably hurt you to hear me gush about another guy. But I was 19, give me a break! You didn't say anything though, you just smiled and told me you were happy for me. You never wavered in your love and support of me, even when it was hard. It probably helped that you were convinced we were going to get married one day and you just had to be patient. Little did I know that in one month from that night, I would be dumping that Valentine's date and committing myself completely to you. It's a testament to your patience. One of your most amazing qualities that still blows me away. You waited for me long before I ever waited for you. I will always be thankful for that.

You are the most caring and light-hearted person in the world. I have never seen someone who can make everyone laugh the way you do. I love watching the joy you bring to other peoples' lives because you have brought so much to mine. Every one of your mission companions has told me that you were their favorite companion. I think that's a sign that people like you. And why shouldn't they? You are kinda the bomb. You have a way of making people feel comfortable and making people feel cared about and listened to. Then of course, there is your weirdo side. It might take you a minute to fully show everyone that side of you, but when you do, no one can stop laughing. That's one of the biggest reasons I married you; how much you make me laugh. Even when I am grumpy, busy, sad, or distracted; you make me laugh. There hasn't been a day of our marriage that you haven't taken the time to add your own personal brand of sunshine to my life.

Loving you has always been easy, but our lives haven't always been. We had to work hard to come together and work hard for the things we wanted. We had to be patient. Oh soooo very patient. We had to say goodbye, which is something I still can't fathom. How the heck did we do that? I really, truly learned what it meant to love you those years you were gone and the month after you returned. We sacrificed a lot and still got each other in the end. That is the greatest prize I can think of. It fixes all those days and nights without you. It helps heal the 2 Valentine's days I spent alone. It makes it okay that I cried basically the entire 3 months before you came home and worried we could never be the same. Things weren't the same. They were better. We are the luckiest people alive.

Thank you for "maintaining" my high-maintenance self. I know I can be hard to love, but you have never faltered. I think back to when we first started dating and I was such a mess and you loved every bit of who I was anyways. That's when I started to love myself and really become myself. All these years later you can still do it. You tell me how pretty I am every day. You hold me when I irrationally cry over the ending to a book. You apologize when I yell at you for wanting to keep the bottle of steak sauce until it runs out even if I think the fridge is too crowded. You make me a lunch every morning and scratch my back each night. You help with the chores and never complain. You run out to get me donuts when I crave them. You let me buy way too many baby outfits. You run errands for me when I am tired. You let me lay around when I have the grumpies. You take me on fun dates and buy me pretty things. You listen to my venting and ridiculous stories even when I know you don't care. You try to be involved in things that interest me and get so excited if you hear a piece of celebrity gossip before I do. You watch the Bachelor with me and pretend to care who goes home. Just that ounce of effort from you means so much to me.

Your testimony and strength in the Gospel strengthens mine every day. When I want to be a lazy disciple, you don't let me and I am so thankful you don't! You are constantly looking for ways to be better and stronger. You are constantly striving to serve the Lord and the people around you. You never miss a meeting or calling or chance to serve if you can help it. I can remember just a few weeks back to an early Sunday morning when the phone rang and you jumped out of bed to help shovel snow while I slept for 2 more hours. You make me want to be a better person. You make me want to be the best person. You inspire and lift me up every day.

You are such a kid at heart and it keeps our life and marriage so fun. But at the same time, you know when to be serious. You are the hardest worker I know. A demanding, full-time job and well as a demanding, full-time school schedule. Not to mention that demanding wife of yours ;) But you hardly ever complain. You work hard and have the end goal in sight. You are doing this for us and our future and I am so thankful. I have always dreamed of being a stay-at-home mom and you are making that possible for me. It's the greatest gift.

You make me feel so safe. Physically, spiritually, and emotionally. You are so protective of me and our family and I love that. I know you would do whatever it takes to keep me safe and happy. I also know my heart and my spirit are safe with you forever. After my past relationships, this was something I didn't think was possible with love. But you fixed me. Fixed broken pieces from a mess that you didn't make. But you did it willingly and lovingly and even today when an old scar reemerges, you know just what to do. I trust my heart and my future to you with 100% certainty. That's the most comforting feeling in the world.

I am so excited to watch you become a father. You already are becoming one. You have a way with kids and I can't wait to watch you with ours. I love when you talk about the future with our babies. When you talk about coming home at night and them running up to you with hugs and kisses and how excited you are. I love when you rub my belly and talk to our baby and tell her how much you love her. You are going to be the most incredible father and she is going to be the luckiest little girl in the world. She already has you and your big heart wrapped completely around her finger.

You are the most selfless person I know and it is hands down the quality I admire most about you. I have never felt that you put your needs above mine, or anyone's for that matter. You are always thinking and worrying about others. You have such a strong desire to serve and love everyone around you. It humbles me so much. You never speak bad about others or gossip at all. You see the good in anyone and every situation even if you have to look hard to find it.

Thank you for being patient when I wasn't ready to date. Thank you for loving me through the hard times. Thank you for making the sacrifice to serve a mission. Thank you for coming home to me. Thank you for marrying me in the temple. Thank you for loving me every day. Thank you for treating me like a princess; the way I dreamed my future husband would treat me when I was a little girl. Thank you for making me the happiest girl in the world.

So happy Valentine's day my dear, sweet Nathan. Our lives are about to be changed forever, but I am more than ready to take that adventure with you. I am ready for anything, as long as you're next to me. I chose you 5 years ago and I will choose you again every day for the rest of forever. I love you more than you know and it's growing each day. You're the best decision I ever made.