Things my students say..

Back to school! Back to the posts about weird things my buddies say! 


ZG: I got lasagna on my backpack.. Don't worry, it's not anything weird. Just lasagna.

I put my class into groups and they had to come up with group rules. These were my favorites: 
KB: Thou shall not kill!
IH: We can only write with writing utensils. This is to prevent students from bringing kitchen utensils to class. Which is dangerous. And weird.
They also had to come up with ways to solve disagreements. Most kids said "rock, paper, scissors" or "everyone votes." Another group decided on this:
DB: The hunger games

ZG: "Instead of animal testing, we should do all the testing on really old people. Like, 90 years old. We'd probably be doing them a favor at that point. Or fish. And frogs. No one likes fishes and frogs. So yeah, like old people or fish and frogs."

IH: What's her name again? Mrs. Cobbler??
Talking about another language arts teacher. Her name is Mrs. Tobler. I don't know why this made me laugh so hard.

One journal prompt was to tell the story of a child's birthday party from the point of view of the pinata. This one was my favorite. If you know the kid, it's even better.
GP: i was in a stoor when this person came and picked me up. i am a star pinata by the way. they put me in a bag and thro me in a car. i was so excited to get out but that dident last long. they hung me from a pole and spung a kid around in a circle then he hit me with a stick again and again. then they broke me. they were feasting on my inerds and lauphing. they beat me more then i ended up in a garbage can and a hobo found me. he fixed me while i planned my revenge..

CE: Can I go outside for a minute

Me: Why?

CE: Because I think my shoes smell and I'm embarrassed.

Me: I won't be here that morning because I'm going to the dentist.
CE: What? Hahaha, you still go to the dentist?! That's for kids!
Me: You will need to go to the dentist for the rest of your life. Your teeth actually get worse as you get older.
CE: Wow. That ruins my day.

Me: Why is "girls" not considered a simple subject in this sentence?
IH: Because girls are not simple. They are super complicated human beings.

CD: How do you say "cliche?"  (he pronounced it "click-he")
Me: It's kind of a funny word. It's pronounced cliche.
CD: Woah, that's weird.
IH: Gosh! You're such an idiom! 
CD: Yeah, well you're an oxymoron!
Insulting each other using figurative language? Every language arts teacher's dream!