Liberty Park

Before I start this blog post I want to make a disclaimer. I get emotionally attached to things, places, and ideas. So this emotional blog post about a park may seem funny to some people. But that's just the who I am! I am way too sentimental about pretty much everything. Just accept it.

ANYWAY.

My favorite park in the entire world is Liberty Park in down-town Salt Lake City. The park is massive. It covers several blocks. It has a giant lake on one end, filled with ducks and geese and a little island in the middle. It has carnival rides. It has a giant gazebo. It has an aviary. It has a splash park. It has a few playgrounds. It has volleyball courts. It has a pool. It has tennis courts and basketball courts. It has a greenhouse.  It has running and biking trails. It has tons of picnic tables. It has immense amounts of open grass area. There could be a million people at the park, and you'd never feel crowded. There is always an area for you to be alone.

Nathan and I have spent more time at this park than I could possibly try to figure out. From the moment we started dating, it's been our park. We've had birthdays there. We've had countless picnics. We've played soccer there. We've walked around and talked for hours. We've gone to sit. We have even had some good cries there. Okay, I've had some good cries there while Nathan comforts me, haha. 

This is how much we love this park. This was taken the week before Nathan left on his mission. We wanted to have 1 last picnic there. It was DECEMBER. We froze our freaking butts off.

When he came home, we still spent just as much time there.

Then I got pregnant with Madelyn, and the park became something more. I walked around it most of my pregnancy, except when it was too freaking cold, and I dreamed about my baby. I saw all the moms and dads pushing strollers around. I saw the kids playing on the playgrounds. I was so excited! Nathan and I had wanted to start a family for so long, and it was finally happening. Those last few weeks before she was born, I walked around the park every day and got more and more excited for our future.

When Madelyn died, I had trouble going to the park for a while. It represented everything I had lost. There were too many happy families playing there. There were too many babies being pushed around the paths that I had longed to push my baby around. It wasn't fair. We went to the park only once the entire summer, and that was because it was Pioneer Day and there were a bunch of food trucks there. We didn't walk around the park and I kept my eyes away from any of those stupid, happy families trying to ruin my day. (jk guys, jk)

It was almost a full year of me not visiting the park when we started going back in March. I was pregnant again, but it was still hard. We first just would eat at the picnic tables and then leave. Then one time, we walked around. And everything was fine! I felt happy and excited again. Everything was going to be okay! In fact, as if it were a good omen, my best friend was sitting by the lake and I ran and snuck up on her. 

 Since then we've been regulars back at Liberty Park. And just this past weekend, thanks to some gorgeous January weather, I got to walk my little baby around the park, hand-in-hand with my sweet husband. I was finally the mom getting to push the stroller. We even got her out to play for a tiny bit. My heart was full. It still is.

It's been a long road to get here. And it's really not about the park. It's not about grass and the long pathway that leads all around it. It's about what the park represented to me. Like it was a rite of passage into motherhood that I longed for for years. I am so thankful I get to push my stroller around that park. I am so thankful for the human inside that stroller and the man walking beside me.