croquet and alpacas

This weekend we went to Idaho to spend Mother's day with the Merkley's and see their amazing new house! Guess what guys? I actually used my camera!!!!! Not just my phone. It was a freaking miracle and I remembered why I always loved my camera so much. It was a beautiful weekend. I shall tell the story through pictures.

We stopped at a rest stop named "middle of no where" and there were alpacas there. Just hanging out.

Shawn and I are excited about the new house.

We went on a drive and picked up J-Dawg.

Zoe got really mad at Nathan's shoe.

Shawn calmed her down with some really intense kisses.

Shawn and Nathan got super proud about their beards.

We played croquet.

My husband was super handsome.

My hair made me such even worse at croquet than usual.

We set up a bonfire to roast some weenies.

Molly attacked Jaden.

Nathan made stupid faces while throwing the football.

Jaden ate crap while running down the hill.

The boys hung out.

Jaden got a hair cut.

We celebrated Mother's day! Yay Mama Merkley!

Molly levitated. 

We had a picnic. Papa Merkley and I were clearly very excited. 

Heather just kicked back.

Nathan and Shawn held some dogs.

I got pretty upset about the soccer game.

And then we fell asleep.

It was a beautiful and relaxing weekend! We had a blast. And I loved celebrating my 2 wonderful mothers! I am truly very blessed. Happy Monday! 

Friday ramblings

This is one of those times when I should be doing something else, but I am blogging instead. I haven't done that in a while because work has been so crazy. But today during my prep period I am sitting on my butt, eating pretzels, and blogging!!!! Here are my thoughts today.

I get an iPad for work next year. I am suppperr stoked. I wonder if they will mind if I use it to play Doodle Sprint all day instead of using it to teach the children?

I am so ready for summer, but already sad about saying goodbye to my kids. I know that once I get my new batch of 8th graders in August I will love them just as much, but right now the idea of having a room full of different kids makes me sad.

Nathan and I get to go to Idaho this weekend to be with his family and see their new house! I am really excited!
I have had trouble sleeping at night lately because I keep dreaming that I am late for my IEP meetings and I haven't even written the IEP yet. Is it obvious what's on my mind lately?

The pretzels I am eating were in a baggy with the new gum I just bought, and they totally taste minty. Gross.
Every Tuesday night since last September and every Tuesday night for another year and a half, I am taking a graduate level reading class to endorse my degree. I carpool with 3 lovely ladies and this semester Brad Wilcox is teaching our class. He is super legit and funny and he makes the class awesome. But the two semesters before? They sucked. And I feel like all the semesters after may suck as well. Why did I decide to do this again?

I just remembered that I told a student he had to stay after class 2nd period and I forgot. Dangit! They get so happy when I forget!

We just finished reading the Hunger Games in my reading class. Today we played Jeopardy to review for the test. I split them up into 2 teams and let them choose their team names. They chose The Justin Bieber's and The Selena Gomez's. Awesome.

Woah, I took a break and was productive. I am taking a student LRE screening next week so I had to organize the file. I know that made no sense to most of you. Oh well.

I am so freaking glad it's Friday.

My Study Skills class is completely silent right now. It's amazing. They are probably scared. The class started off with me confiscating a cell phone and assigning a lunch detention for swearing. Fear is the best way to teach right?

This week has been nuts. Wednesday might have been the most stressful day I have ever had of teaching.

At work, I move around a lot. I am in my classroom half the day and then I co-teach with other teacher's for the rest of the day. I get sick of walking around the school. My classroom is connected with my dear friend, Phil's classroom. I often cut through his room to get to the other side of the school and it saves me so much time and I don't have to force my way through the sea of very tall middle schoolers. Well for the past 2 days, the door that connects our rooms has been jammed and we couldn't open it. I was so annoyed. No key would get it open. I had a janitor come in this morning and fix it. He was laughing at how excited I was. He said, "Is it really that far to walk around?" And that's when I realized how lazy I am.

Last night the bishopric in our new ward came over to meet us. One of them asked me my hobbies outside of work and I could not think of anything. How do people have time for hobbies?!

A student is upset they have to do presentations in science. He just asked, "What good will teaching us public speaking do?! We'll never need to do it after middle school!" Oh he is in for the best surprise!

Nathan introduced me to spam the other night. I was all grossed out and dead set against it just because spam sounds disgusting. Turns out it's delicious and I want to eat it all the time.

This post is lame. Let's close with a picture. Found this book in my class the other day.

That's classic literature. The end.

insta overload

Oh hey. Were you hoping today that I would blog one-thousand instagram pictures?

YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND!

Saying goodbye to B.Stew. She's all grown up and going to texas!! I will miss her dearly.

Nathan smiling in his sleep. Creeper.

Some days my team decides we should combine our classes so someone can do an In-N-Out run for lunch. It was Heavenly.

Nathan thinks he's a good hider..

Sonic milkshakes! Did you know they are half price after 8pm? Cos they totally are. And it's totally awesome.

Diet coke.. mmmmm

Walking to the Gateway to see Avengers! Two things: Living so close to the Gateway is awesome, and Avengers was freaking amaazzzinnng!!!

I have a stalker.

Saturday was my cute cousin Kendall's baptism. She was sooo excited!

Pigeons built a nest on our balcony a few weeks ago and laid eggs. Nathan has been obsessed! The eggs hatched last week. They are actually pretty cute!

We had to skip the brunch after the baptism in order to get a billion errands done, but Nathan had breakfast food on the brain all day so we had some iHop.

I love pictures of my food and I don't care what anyone says! Also, this milkshake was amazing.

Oh just icing my eyes. I have insanely sensitive skin around my eyes. I happened to switch moisturizers and my eyes blew up into a red, swollen, itchy mess.

Told you I like food pictures. Sunday dinner. Ohhhhhyuuuummmm.

Nathan complaining of being too full.

I promise one day I will use a real camera again.

Maybe.

Month One

Happy 1 month to us!!

Yes, I am one of those girls. Blog posts every month people. EVERY MONTH!!

I'll blog about the weekend later, but today Nathan and I spent a lot of the time going through mission stuff. I still can't believe he's only been home a few months. It seems literally impossible that I lived two years without him here. I can't imagine living any other way than I am right now.

Right now is perfect.

Except for the fact that it's Sunday night.. and tomorrow is Monday.. dangit.

Anyways, Happy Anniversary Natey. 

Thanks for serving your mission, coming home to me, and marrying me.
Just like you promised.

A Family Affair

I love my crazy family. And I love that we figured out how to 3-way skype so even as we all sleep in California, Arizona, and Utah, we can still watch Ava dump pee on Blake and watch Cameron make dumb faces and everyone can hear me burp! I saw we make it a weekly occurrence. I have some really good burps to share.

Love these faces

 Playing with mama's hair.

 Oh hai! It's Marshmallow!

 Sisters with their men.

 This is what happened when my dad asked to see "that handsome face up close"

 This is who he really meant. Check out those eyes! 

1 year

This came for me through district mail today:

Even though I am fully aware of how close summer is, it still shocked me to see those words. "You have completed your first year." What the heck?! There is no possible way my first year is over. It's seriously blowing my mind. So much has changed and so much has happened and I am not sure I am ready to be done yet.

I remember my interview for this job and how when they called me to tell me I got the job I jumped around the current classroom I was teaching in and screamed. (I definitely had a student in there with me by the way. Pretty sure he is scarred). I remember going in for my first meetings and meeting my team and the rest of the faculty and learning just what I was going to be teaching. I remember seeing my classroom for the first time and being giddy. I remember getting my class rosters and seeing pictures of my students and dying to meet them. I remember the night before school started and how I wasn't nervous at all, but I was SO excited it felt like Christmas Eve. I remember those first few days, getting to know my kids and falling in love instantly. It's crazy how those 28 little strangers are now some of the people I love most in the world.

Lately I have been kinda beating up on myself. (What else is new?) I feel like I have kinda failed my kids. Everyone told me the first year is rough and I have felt it. I have been feeling bad because so many of my kids still can barely read. So many of them failed half their classes. So many of them can't do simple division problems. Four of my kids were suspended (2 kicked out) for "special" brownies. I feel like this year I pushed to the breaking point, but I didn't fix anyone. I know it's unrealistic to think I could get these 14-year-olds who are reading on a 1st grade level to where they need to be, but my brain tells me I should have.

Well with this congratulatory letter, they sent me a questionnaire I filled out at my first-year SPED teacher training. Here were some of the things I said 1 year ago:

"I want my students to believe in themselves and know how smart they are. I want to teach them the value of hard work and how to overcome challenges, learn, and progress."

"I want my kids to think of me as someone who loved them, believed in them, taught them, and challenged them. I want every student to leave my class with a positive feeling."

"I want them to feel comfortable with me and know that they can come to me for help. I want respect as their teacher, but an understanding that I am there for them and want their happiness in every aspect."

I started to realize that in what is really important with these kids, I had the exact kind of year I wanted. With older resource kids, complete success and an exit from special ed is very rare. If they haven't learned to read at this point, they will never be on grade level. They can still learn, they can still make progress, but I can't beat myself up that I didn't bump my students 6 grade levels in 8 months. But what I feel I have given my students is just as important.

Not gonna toot my own horn or anything, but my students love me. And not just because I'm all young and hip (cos I seriously am sooo hip), but because they know I love them back. Even my hardest kids who I have had to raise my voice at once or twice or eighty-six times, always tell me how they know I love them and they thank me for not giving up on them. If anything, I think that's the most important idea I can give them- someone loves them.

One thing I have definitely worked on, which isn't always successful, is implanting in my students' heads that they are NOT stupid. Test scores and teachers and parents and peers and society has told them throughout their entire education that they are stupid and it breaks my heart. I hope this year that I have helped ebb away just a small portion of that poor self esteem. We had an "I can't" funeral at the beginning of the year and my kids still talk about it. I hope they always remember that they can do anything.

Today a group of boys asked to have lunch in my room. When I asked why one of them said, "Because we like being in your classroom. It's happy in there." I feel like Heavenly Father told him exactly what I needed to hear. Maybe I can't fix all their home problems or the fact that they can't read and do basic math, but I can help them feel happy and safe. And for me, right now, that's enough.

my lunch visitors :)

Things my students say

Haven't done one of these in a while. It's overdue. Here you go!

BS: This girls always hugs me and like.. squeezes me tight. I don't like it. Now I know how all those girls I sexually harassed last year feel.

CW: Mrs Merkley you drink DIET coke?!
Me: Yeah..
CW: But.. you're not an old lady..?

CW: Guys don't upset Mrs Merkley! Her eyes will get big and her voice will get scary!

CK: I like the way I know what you want me to do, just by the look you give me. It's like you're talking to me with your eyes! Right now they are telling me to shut up.

CK: How many staples can I eat before I die? I need to know really fast!

JM: Can I ditch class?
Me: No.
JM: Dangit, I knew I shouldn’t have asked.

Questions asked the first day of school after my wedding:
-Did you get married?
-Do we have to call you Mrs Erkle now?
-How was the cake?
-Was your cake chocolate?
-How much cake did you eat?
-Did you bring us any cake?
-Was your cake yummy?
-Do you like your husband?

ZS: The sub in History sucks! He has no Adams apple.

CK: Are you mad I got suspended?
Me: I'm not mad, I was just really disappointed.
CK: Ahhh I hate when you say that! It makes it so much worse! Just please be mad at me!

CK: Where is Ms B. today?
Me: She's out sick.
CK: Wow.. I am.. completely devastated.

Me: How does this song make you feel?
HS: I don't know what it makes me feel.. but the guy singing sounds like he's having a whale of a time!

Things on some of my kids' bucket lists:
-Be the next Johnny Knoxville (aspire high dude)
-Get a girl pregnant but only the one that I am married to and is my wife.
-Break my left arm.
-Have the cops chase me for 2 days over a crime I didn't commit.
-Visit Mrs Merkley in a few years and show her how I am not in prison.
- Go on a mission and get sent home for breaking the rules (who has a goal like this??)
-Bury my husband when I am 80. (Creepy.. or sweet?)
-Die by falling off the Eifel Tower.
-Eat some really good food before I die so during my autopsy, the guy will think I'm cool. He will say, "This guy knew how to live!"
-Shoot off a guy's private parts and also he is a bad guy.
-Make my brother stop being annoying. Or shoot him.
-Be really ninja and do some crazy moves and blow everyone's minds.

BS: I'm sorry Mrs Merkley! Are you mad? Please don't be mad! Are you mad?
BM: Well she doesn't look happy does she?
BS: I'm sorry don't be mad! I can't stand it when you're mad at me. I will go crazy!!

CW: Mrs. Merkey do you hate us?
Me: I don't hate any of my students.
BS: Yeah right. I would hate me if I was my teacher.

JM: I'm late because I was in the office.
Me: Are you lying to me?
JM: No.. I swear..
CW: Ohhh man, you should know better. Nothing disappoints Mrs Merkley more than when we are dishonest with her. DISSAPOINTED!

AO: When are reading logs due?
CW: When are reading logs due? Dang new girl, you gotta lot to learn about this class.

Me: Write me a paragraph, just vent your emotions.
JM: WHy does everyone keep telling me to vent?
Me: It feels good! You know how you love how you feel after you use the punching bag?
JM: Yeah.
Me: It's the same thing. It's a release!
CK: Kinda like when you do your home work at school and feel so good when you get home?
Me: Um.. kinda-
CW: Or like when you're playing grand theft auto and you just shoot the guy selling hamburgers?
Me: ....