Things my students say

Time for another installment!

CK: How many people have been to Saturn? 

Me: None. 

CK: Mars? 

Me: None. 

CK: But it's right next to us! 

ZG: My mom is really flowery. 

Me: Why did you just say that? 

ZG: I'm just trying to be a nicer person. 

Me: What are some inventions that changed your life?

IH: The popcorn popper 

ZG: I wish I were a demon. 

Me: That's a weird thing to say.. 

ZG: Oh, did I say that out loud? 

AS: I'm the Capitol of Texas! And my iPad! And your mom! 

ZG: I hate Abraham Lincoln for inventing the English language and making it so confusing. 

CE: I just tried not breathing for a minute so my words got all messed up 

ZG: I've always dreamed of using the word "although" at the beginning of a sentence. 

Me: Why? 

ZG: It sounds so smart! 

Me: Then use it. 

ZG: It's a little too soon for that, Mrs. Merkley. 

CK: I'm not trying to be a homosexual, but Zach's hair cut looks realllllly good 

CE: Ow! 

ZG: Yeah you better be ow-ed 

JM: Can I go into the hall to practice this.. thing? 

Me: Practice what thing? 

JM: This thing I wrote. 

Me: What is it? 

JM: Just a thing! 

Me: Is it for a class? 

JM: Kinda. 

Me: How is it kinda for a class? What is it? 

JM: It's just like a thing I wrote that I need to practice. 

Me: Jose, I can't just let you go into the hallway to practice a "thing." 

JM: Okay, it's something I worte because I am doing something with Dustin. 

Me: What are you doing with Dustin? 

JM: Having a.. a battle. 

Me: .. a rap battle? 

JM: Maybe.. 

Me: So you want to leave my classroom to go practice a rap you wrote for a battle with another student? 

Jose: Yep! 

Me: Nope! 

ZG: I didn't even need to go to health today. All we did was watch a video about people growing up and throwing up. They weren't really throwing up. It just rhymed. 

CE: How many licks does it take to get to a tootsie roll pop? 

ZG: I learned what stud meant the other day. 

Me: What does it mean? 

ZG: It's like.. A stud in your ear. Or handsome. 

CE: You should draw the wings on the eagle. 

KO: Why? 

CE: Your handwriting looks like wings. 

KO: What does that even mean? 

CE: Your handwriting sucks.. And wings are hard to draw.. So it's like the same. 

ZG: I'm related to Tim McGraw 

Me: Oh yeah? 

ZG: Yeah, we have the same last name. 

Me: Your last name is Gray. 

ZG: I changed it to McGray. 

Me: That's still not even the same last name. 

ZG: You're always trying to prove me wrong!! 

 Last little one. We were writing essay's on whether or not we thought "The Outsiders" was too violent to be taught in school. This was on his outline:

translation: "people are used to violence." 

 I get much worse spelling errors than this every day, but for some reason, I love the way he spelled violence. (Ps. The correct spelling of violence was on the board).