bragfest

Today my favorite person turned 26.
For that reason, I get to brag.

Nathan and I have been through quite a bit together. There was that whole two-year mission thing. We lost our first child. It hasn't always been easy. During this whole time, I have thought a lot about how bad it sucks that we didn't get to keep our baby when so many others did, but I try to remember that we each have different trials. I have been working hard at counting my blessings, so I don't feel cocky when I say that my marriage is not an area of struggle. So while we might have to pass through rough times, we are so blessed to have what we do.

In all the books I read about stillbirth, they all warned about how it would affect my marriage. Not one book said it could strengthen a marriage. They all warned me that my husband would grieve differently, that he wouldn't understand my grief process, that he would get mad at me for how long it was taking, and that it would definitely drive a wedge between us. Some warned our marriage would never be the same. I read several studies that found that couples who experiences a stillbirth were at least 40% more likely to divorce. I was worried. I don't know why I was though, because I married Nathan freaking Merkley. And there is no one more loving, kind, patient, and selfless than Nathan Merkley.

Nathan never pressured me to move past things. Even though his heart was shattered, his grieving was very different and much faster than mine. He's the eternal optimist and I know this helped a lot. But he was never frustrated or annoyed. He rode the roller-coaster that was my emotions and never once complained. He's the biggest reason I have survived. So in a way, the books were right. Our marriage will never be the same. We are ten thousand times stronger. I love him more than I ever thought possible. I have no idea why we have to wait to have children, but we are being immensely blessed during this waiting time. I am being blessed the most though. Nathan is, and always will be, the best decision I ever made. Those 2 years of waiting without him seem so little compared to the fact that I get to have him forever.

So to end my brag-fest. Here's 26 reasons I love Nathan freaking Merkley.
1. He scratches my back every single night until I fall asleep.
2. He lets me eat ice cream for dinner whenever I want.
3. He has watched a lot of One Direction music videos with me. And he always tries really hard to act interested.
4. I love to talk. He will sit and listen to me ramble on about my day or tell the same story for the 90th time and always listen and respond.
5. If I want to do something and he doesn't, there's never even a discussion. We always do it.
6. He genuinely cared about the people and things I care about.
7. He's a natural with kids. And they love him.
8. He's so dang smart! He's know so much about all this boring stuff like business and the "economy" and the stock market and statistics.
9. He makes beautiful music. A lot of it's about me. I don't mind.
10. He loves Lady so much. He's as much of a crazy cat lady as I am.
11. HE. MAKES. ME. LAUGH. All day, every day. We never stop laughing and joking with each other. If people saw how weird we are at home, people would be worried about us. I'm worried about us.
12. He takes care of me. He has been so sick the past week and on Sunday I got a migraine. Even though we was exhausted, achy, running a fever, and generally feeling like crap, he gave me a massage, played with my hair, got me water and snacks, and kept reheating my hot pad in the microwave. He's always like that. It doesn't matter what's going on with him, other people come first.
13. He works his butt off! His full-time job is insanely demanding and he also goes to school full-time.
14. I happen to think he is the most attractive man in the world.
15. He makes yummy food.
16. He laughs at all my jokes. Even the not funny jokes. Just kidding. All my jokes are funny.
17. He always tells me I look pretty. Like, every day.
18. He talks in a lisp because he knows it makes me laugh.
19. He loves his family.
20. He loves my family.
21. He is so patient and understanding, which means we hardly fight. It's the best.
22. We could lay in bed and talk for hours. It usually means we lose a lot of sleep. But I don't mind.
23. He laughs when I toot.
24. He is always so proud of me and supports me in all I do.
25. He is the most strong and faithful man I know.
26. He's easy on the eyes.

Love you Natey. Happy birthday, my love.