To the man who sleeps next to me:

Tonight we got into an argument right before bed. No, not an argument. Tonight I flipped out over nothing before bed and you lay there blindsided trying to figure out what the heck was going on. I always love when you apologize like it's a question. Like you aren't really sure what I'm upset about but you're gonna take a stab at it and hope it's right.

"I'm sorry I... Um.. Thought the picture was weird?"

In all honesty, I usually don't really know why I'm upset either, but you always seem to make it okay anyways. Even though it's usually not even your fault.

Sometimes I don't think it's fair that you chose me with all my imperfections. We both know apologizing isn't my strong suit, but for you it's not a problem. Remember all those years ago when we first started dating? My last relationship had been poisoning and controlling and vicious. I'd never heard the words "I'm sorry" pass his lips. So I came into our relationship dead set on winning every argument and never letting a man walk on me again. Even with all my obnoxious attitude, you'd let me win. Not in a pushover way, but in a "I love you too much to be fighting about such a silly thing" way. You taught me to trust. You taught me what love is and the power of an apology.

Life is a lot different than those days. We are grown ups now, and we are married. I get to fall asleep by your side and my apologizing skills are more important than ever. But you're patient with me. Simply having you sleeping here means more than you could know. Sometimes there are nights where my mind is moving a million miles a second with worry and doubt and anxiety and cares that are far outside my control. Yet, I can simply reach out my hand and lay it on your chest. I can feel your heart beat with the gentle consistency and strength that made me fall in love with you 6 years ago and I realize it's all going to be okay. As long as you're sleeping next to me, it's all going to be okay.