jumping the gun

Over the past few weeks Nathan and I decided there were a couple of big life changes we suddenly needed to make. After our apartment complex said they were going to raise our rent 50 dollars, I got really angry. And then just decided we were going to move. I set my mind to it and I went to work. I decided to take charge of the house hunt because Nathan was on a hunt of his own. He decided he was going to get a new job. He didn't like his and one day just said, "I want a new job." And just like me, he went to work.

We both hunted for weeks. Guys, weeks. And not a single plausible option arose.  I have moved basically every 6 months for the past 6 years and I have never had a problem finding a place to live in my price range, that I love. In fact, for the most part, I have found it within the first day or two of hunting. This time was different. First, I contacted around 25 ads on craigslist. Want to know how many were spam? 24. I received 24 emails along the lines of, "Hi, I am on a service trip in West Africa and my house is awesome but I can't be there to show it to you so you send me the money and I will send you the keys." Pretty legit right? Seriousy, do people fall for that crap?

Anyways, I was super frustrated. I checked KSL daily and we found nothing in our price range that wasn't all the way in the west side, scary, ghetto-ville. Or too far away from down-town which doesn't work with us only having one car. I thought maybe I was being too picky. So we upped our price range. Then we cut out the need for a washer and dryer. Then we cut out the need for it being on the east side. Then we cut out the need for it being near the trax. Then we cut out the need for washer dryer hook ups. Then we cut out the need for covered parking. Then we cut out the need for central air. Then we cut out the need for a dishwasher. Then we cut out the need for carpeting. Seriously, the next thing we could cut out was indoor plumbing and electricity.

Nathan was facing the same thing on the job hunt. Half were scams. Most paid way less than he was already making. Some were a 40 minute plus commute (again, the one car thing). He went to several job interviews where the job posting was totally lying about what he would be doing. One said "marketing assistant manager", and at the interview he found out he would be selling make-up at a Sam's Club. Seriously.

We were both very frustrated and felt super discouraged. Sunday we decided to fast about what we should do. As I was thinking about everything that day, it hit me that we were possibly making these changes for selfish reasons. We just kinda assumed that since we wanted it, it would be the right thing. But I realized we were wanting big changes for the wrong reasons.

Our apartment is small guys. Like seriously, miniature. And for some reason, even though we don't need more space, I wanted a bigger one. Like I needed to show off or something. I used the excuse that they were raising our rent to jump the gun on my desire to, unnecessarily, have a bigger place. Who cares if this place is tiny? It's right down-town, walking distance from Nathan's work, Nathan's school, Temple Square, the Gateway, City Creek, and a billion awesome places. It's a new building and we even have brand new carpet, counters, flooring, and appliances. We only pay for electricity. It's an enclosed, monitored building and incredibly safe. Great management. Plus, they decided to only raise our rent 20 bucks and even with the extra $20 a month, we would still be paying less than simply paying a new deposit at a newer, bigger place. That would probably have no washer and dryer, or a roof for that matter. So I am happy to be here. We are lucky to be here.

The same thing with Nathan's job. He makes really good money for down-town. He has been with the company for years and knows everyone. They work around his school schedule so he can do both full time. It's right down town, which if you haven't noticed is where we live and where he goes to work. Is it exactly what he wants to be doing right now? Is it super exciting and his dream job? Not really. But does it work perfectly for what we need right now? Yes.

We are both learning how to find happiness right now, in the moment. I think it's always been one of my biggest struggles. It's so easy to look forward and want better things when we don't realize just how good we have it right now. I have talked a lot about the comparing game that we all like to play now-a-days. But it makes for such a struggle! I was so excited to be living in the city. Now I think all the time about living back in Provo where it's so much more calm and safe. I loved this tiny apartment, until I thought about having 2 bedrooms and how awesome that would be. There is no pleasing me! Plus, what the heck would we even do with an extra room? It would be empty. We would probably just throw dirty clothes in it. Then we would forget about them. Then the laundry would never get done!

It's so easy to want something more. But today I am pledging to be happy with what I have. And to always keep the Lord on-board with my decisions. After a lot of prayer, we both know right here is where we need to be. Not sure why, but I feel really at peace. Where we are now is awesome. The future will be awesome too. But right now's awesome is the only awesome I wanna think about.