Dear Madelyn,
A week ago I held you in my arms. Some nights they feel achy and empty without you in them. Seems so unfair we only got that hour together before they took you away.
I've been doing everything the books tell me to do. Allowing myself to cry and grieve. Making sure I have things to look forward to. Planning a new life while still remembering. They give great advice and temporary comfort, but they all tell me it will take time. I hate that answer. I don't want to wait to feel better. I just want to be better. But more than that, I just want you here.
At the same time, I can't help but think about how lucky I am to have had the time with you that I did. I'm so lucky to be your mom. So lucky to be blessed with such a perfect little girl and to feel the love that I felt for you last Saturday in that hospital room. Had I known ahead of time how this pregnancy would end, I would have gone through it all anyway just for that chance to hold you.
I love you so much little girl. I promise to live a life so that you can be proud to call me your mom. I know one day I'll hold you again and won't have to say goodbye. I can't wait for that day.
Love always,
Mom
I love this. You are so strong, and she is so proud of your strength. This reunion will be one of the very happiest.
ReplyDeleteWell now I'm crying!! Beautiful letter!! Love you three :)
ReplyDelete:) hang in there! Love yall!
ReplyDeleteI love this. I have been following your blog closely and thinking of you a lot. I can tell how close to the veil you have been and it is lovely. Thank you for allowing others to experience this beautiful heartbreak with you. I wish she was here with you too...What a special eternal family you 3 are, a true example of living the gospel. Sending love!
ReplyDeleteI love you so much.
ReplyDeleteThis was beautiful. I KNOW she loves her Mama. She is so proud of you for doing your best to stay positive during this incredibly difficult time in your life.