My HIMYM finale thoughts. SPOILERS. DUH.

Seriously guys, I'm gonna spoil the crap outta this episode. You have been warned.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FREAKING CRAP JUST HAPPENED IN THAT EPISODE?!

So... Barney and Robin are divorced and Barney is a scumbag again but then wait woah never mind he's a dad! Oh and Ted and the mother are perfect and so freaking cute but then wait no she's dead! And guess what? He's just gonna go right back to Robin. Because that's who he always loved anyway. So this isn't really the story of how Ted met the mother .. at all. It's a Ted and Robin love story?! ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!

I can barely form my thoughts into coherent sentences, so I will list my grievances in bulleted form. Because a bullet is what I feel like shooting at my TV right now.

• So you built an ENTIRE season around one wedding and then have them get divorced in the NEXT episode?! Are you kidding?
• They have built up Robin and Barney for so many seasons. I finally started to love them together. I really can't get over it.
• The show is called "HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER." Not "How I Met Your Step Mother." Or "How Your Mother Died So I Could Be With Robin." Or "How I Ruined Kaitlin's Life in 42 Minutes." The entire show has literally been leading toward the moment of them meeting. And it seemed like a footnote in a different story. It was awful.
• All those fun and exciting and special moments, like the yellow umbrella, seeing her ankle as she ran to her room, finding out tiny details about her or how they met.. they're all ruined. Why would they matter at all if she's not even the ending to his story.
• This whole time we thought Ted was telling this story of the mother for his children. So they could really see how much he loved her. But nope, it was just to see if they were cool with him dating Robin.
• Robin screwed Ted over time and time again and shattered his heart into a million pieces, and she gets to be with him?
• THIS IS LITERALLY THE WORST LOVE STORY.
• Why even involve the mother at all? Why did we have to get to know her so well if she wasn't the ending?
• Barney just becomes a douche again? Remember how they spent 3 seasons making him a better person?
• Barney falling in love with his daughter was one of the only sweet moments in the entire show. But still, why does he even have this illegitimate child? That was seriously OUT OF NO WHERE.
• Using this ending literally changes the entire show. I have never seen a series finale do that. It changes the way you watch and view the characters and every single episode. I feel like the whole show was a lie.
• The whole thing was so rushed, it was insane. They spent an entire season covering ONE weekend, then shoved an entire seasons worth of material into ONE episode! If they really thought it was necessary to go with this ending, they should have introduced it over the course of several episodes. It should NOT have been some stupid twist surprise. It's like all they cared about was shock value. That's not something I would expect from this show.
• Marshall and Lilly are the ONLY redeeming part of this show in my eyes. And they hardly had a real part in the finale.
• I didn't want them mom to die. I had a feeling it might happen, but it broke my heart. I could have accepted it, if it had had some depth and meaning to it. But it was as if it was no big deal.
• The mother's death was so rushed. There was no real chance to process it. Maybe she really was the love of Ted's life and he only goes back to Robin because he is lonely, but we get no sense of that. She's just gone and Ted is just moving on.
• The whole last few minutes were so rushed, there was no time for goodbye. No final shot of the gang all together. Just Ted, and that stupid effing blue french horn.
• When you tell us for 9 years that Ted doesn't end up with Robin, how are we supposed to be okay with them ending up together?
• The whole episode was rushed and it sucked and didn't even have the feel of a How I Met Your Mother episode. I could have coped with that if they hadn't destroyed the ending to one of my favorite shows. Seriously. Can't even deal with it.
• I have never seen a show take what it has built for 9 years, and destroy it. I hope the writers are happy with it, because I can't imagine too many fans are.

Obviously, I'm not pleased. I have been watching this show since it's third season aired, and all I have waited for was to meet the mother and see Ted and her live happily ever after. There was a million ways the show could have gone, and I believe the chose the worst. I would have preferred Ted live out his days sad and alone. SERIOUSLY. Maybe it will all be revealed as some awful April Fool's joke. Probably not though.

I have to end with a picture of the only good thing left in the show.