second-to-last pregnancy blog update probably/hopefully pleaaasseeee

Whoops. I basically didn't blog all month. I haven't even blogged about my trip to AZ at the end of March. Wellllllll time to back track! 

I'll start with a pregnancy post. Because it's kinda dominating my life these days anyway, haha.

A cute shot from my 28 week ultrasound. He was too big and too cuddled up to my placenta at my 32 week one to get a good shot.

+ I am now 33 and a half weeks! I have got to say.. this last month went SO SLOWWWWW. I thought I was 31 weeks pregnant for 80 weeks. I was dying. I had a hard time this month and felt like I would be pregnant forever. Time seems to have picked up a little bit lately, but the first 3/4 of this pregnancy went way faster than the last 1/4.

+ Probably the biggest contributing factor to how slow time has been going is the fact that this kid is kicking my butt. (Disclaimer because I always feel the need to do this since losing my own, I AM SO HAPPY AND THANKFUL TO BE PREGNANT. But this blog is basically my journal so I vent here. K, carry on). I had morning sickness until 23ish weeks. Got a short break, then heartburn kicked in. I have heartburn every day. No matter what I eat. I also have horrible indigestion and "sour stomach." I hate that term, but it's what it is. Basically, everything makes me sick. But I am always STARVING so I am just stuffing myself full of stuff that is going to make me sick. This month I also started getting migraines. Like... every day. There was a week span when I had 8 migraines. Then they turned into "silent migraines." That's where I would still get the migraine aura (the part before the pain where my vision gets blurry and fuzzy and I get blind spots), but then my vision comes back and I don't get a headache. I won't like, it was nice to not have the pain, but I was getting really frustrated because my vision was going out multiple times a day. There were times i'd be driving or in the middle of grocery shopping. Then my vision wouldn't completely come back and I would feel hazy and out of it all day. I was going insane. My doctor ran some tests and everything is fine, which is great, but it basically means I just have to deal with it until he comes. They have improved a little, but I do still randomly get the hazy/drugged feelings.

+ In HAPPY NEWS!!! I did some nesting! It's been hard since we don't need very much for this kid, there's been little to get ready. But both my sisters gave me tons of hand-me-downs and so I got them all washed and put away in Sadie's room. I had to do a lot of rearranging in her closet and dresser to make room, haha. But all his clothes up to 3 months are ready in Sadie's room!! He will sleep with us for probably the first 6ish months like Sadie did. Then we get the task of figuring out how to make a room for 2 little ones.

+ I am seeing my doctor every 2 weeks now. I am also going to the hospital once a week for NST's, and I had my last ultrasound last week! So far he's looking great. He's head down (yayyy!!!!!!) with a normal amount of fluid. He's growing right on track. My placenta moved away from my c-section scar. He moves A TON. I am so thankful for this. SO SO SO THANKFUL. I have had no times I freak out because he isn't moving. I will say though that he can sometimes make my sickness worse, haha. And he has woken me up in the night several times. But I would take that over the worry anytime. SO KEEP MOVING DUDE. It's pretty intense having so many doctor appointments, but I love the extra monitoring. Sadie isn't allowed at my NST's, and the chair is really comfy, and I just get to lay there for 30 minutes and listen to his heart beat. It's kind the best part thing ever. Sadie hangs out with Nathan or with Katie during those appointments.

+ He feels so big in there. I don't know if it's just because he's already bigger than Madelyn, and Sadie had so much fluid she was basically swimming, but he feels so squished! I can tell when he's stretching. It's cute. It's so hard to breathe some days, but I am glad he's growing well. I am gaining weight like a mad woman, but my bump doesn't feel too gigantic yet.

+ At my last appointment, we discussed my birthing plan. I am so nervous and still unsure about so much!!! I am a perfect candidate for a vbac. (vaginal birth after cesarean). I want one SO BAD. For so many reasons. 1- c-sections suck. I hated being on that operating table and feeling my insides get pulled all around and not being able to see my baby immediately. I'm glad Sadie got here safety, but if I could get this dude here safely through my vagina, that would be nice. 2- My recovery was awful. I didn't feel okay for almost 2 months. I can't imagine doing that with a toddler as well. 3- Even though I am not super hung up on it, I do feel like I missed out on the birthing experience. It kinda sucks because I do know what it's like to have a vaginal birth. But not to a living baby, and that's hard. I want to experience that again, but in a more positive manner. 4- I want to have at least one more kid, and the more c-sections you have, the more dangerous things get. So yes, I want one! And having a vaginal birth prior, and having no problem dilating on my own is a good sign. My c-section was 100% Sadie's fault (thanks Sadie), and not because my body wasn't doing what it was supposed to do. So hopefully I can get one. The only problem is that it's a little harder to have a vbac when you get induced. But my doctor wants to induce me at 38 weeks again just because my pregnancies get so scary at the end, and I agree. She told me I could wait to go into labor on my own if I felt okay about it, but I don't know how I feel! We will see how things feel as we get closer, but mostly I would just love for my water to break at exactly 38 weeks. My mom and sisters have usually gone early, and my doctor thinks I was very close to going into labor with Sadie when I was induced, so we'll see.

+ Sadie has been a great sport for the most part with having a lazy mom. These past couple weeks have been great with good weather, because I have been motivated to get out even when I feel gross. But for a lot of the past month or two, it's been SO RAINY and we have watched a lot of TV, haha. She's been extra cuddly and I just love it. I have a lot of thoughts about her not being an only child anymore, but those are for another post. She is baby obsessed and it's giving me hope that I am not going to ruin her life when he comes. She feeds her baby doll and kisses her and pushes her in the stroller and wraps her up in blankets and shushes us when the baby is sleeping. It's so sweet. We are still working on "soft" and I have a small fear that she will hurt the baby, haha, but they will never be alone so hopefully we can avoid it.

 + This kid still does not have a name and it stresses me out. Everyone tells me to just relax and that we can decide when we meet him, BUT DONT YOU GUYS KNOW THAT I AM A PLANNER AND A CONTROL FREAK!?!?! There's been a few times where we felt really sure about a name, and then we started to doubt. We have about 3-4 names that I feel confident in, and I guess we will see! I wanted to get Sadie used to a name, but oh well. I GUESS I DONT GET TO CONTROL EVERYTHING. I do get to control the beautiful glamor shots I have taken this month. Pregnancy is so beautiful.

+ I get more and more excited for this kid to get here every day. I have had a few friends have babies recently, and it's making my arms ache for a newborn!! I am also pretty ready to not be pregnant.