a farewell to bumpage

The other weekend, Nathan and I decided to go take some amateur maternity photos since we are to cheap to pay for reals ones, and too lazy to really care. 

Here is my favorite shot:

HAHA. Just kidding. That was me two nights ago when I was really grumpy. But that shot pretty accurately sums up my attitude this past week. Here, I will shower you with some of the pictures we took whilst summing up how I am feeling now that the end is drawing near.

First of all, I think my face looks fat in all these pictures. Hah. I am not super in love with them because I do feel large and I was grumpy while we were taking them so I don't feel like my smile looks super genuine in most of them. Can you tell I'm hormonal? Haha. Poor Nathan. I do, however, love my bump. I hate when people tell me my bump is small. It's the one thing I want to be big! I am glad we captured it in these photos. It feels pretty dang big. It's perfectly round and very tight. No stretch marks, which I think is weird because I have stretch marks on my hips from that time in high school when I injured my knee and stopped playing soccer 5 days a week, but kept eating the same and gained a bunch of weight. But I digress. I love my bump. Although, I am okay with it turning into a baby.

My comfort level has quickly gone down hill. Not in the way I thought though. I have been lucky not to have swelling and never pain, thank goodness. But I just feel so.. FULL! That's the best way to describe it. There's a 7 pound human inside me. And I am definitely feeling it. It's funny to think back to the earlier trimesters and how I would forget I was pregnant sometimes. Bending over used to be hard, now it's absolutely impossible. Getting out of bed, to pee 7 times a night, takes so much effort that I usually wake Nathan up. I get uncomfortable after just a couple minutes in an position I lay in. I have kept the hip pain away, but only because I stretch them twice a day and have since I got pregnant. I get back pain, but in the weirdest spots! And it doesn't necessarily feel like sore muscles, although I do have those. It feels like someone shoved a knife under my shoulder blade. And no amount of Nathan rubbing it makes it go away. It's such a joy!

My paranoia has shot through the roof this week also. I have mildly high fluid levels, so of course I googled it, and read all the awful things that it could mean or what could happen. My doctor acts like it's fine, but I just couldn't calm down! Nathan gave me a sweet blessing that helped, but I just need this girl here. I need to be able to see her. I feel so helpless when I can't even tell what position she is in, let alone if anything is going wrong. I never thought I would be one of those women who complain so much at the end of the pregnancy, but losing Madelyn and all the weird things popping up this time around have just made it impossible to relax.

Is it weird that I am being so whiny while showing you these special pictures? In all reality, I have really have loved being pregnant. I think I might even miss it a little. Aside from my hormonal complaints, I still feel pretty good. I am healthy, baby is healthy. It's just been a long year and a half, and I am ready for a little happy ending. I need this girl in my arms!

I really can't express how much I love her already. I talk to her all the time. She's already my best friend. I love to just sit and rub my belly and imagine what life will be like with her here. Nathan and I talk so much about how it will be. What will be hard. What will be amazing. What things we want to do. It's so exciting to be making these plans that we worried we wouldn't get a chance to make. 

I had my last doctor appointment today. LAST!!! We haven't really told many people, but only family really reads my blog, so I will just say that we are being induced on Monday. I am so thankful for my doctor and the other nurses and doctors who have worked with my this pregnancy. I have had so much monitoring and they were all on board for me being induced a little early. Thank Heavens. Today I was dilated to a 2 and 70% effaced. It's not huge, but it's comforting to know I won't be starting from 0 on Monday.  She is also still head down, but not engaged. I haven't felt a single contraction, not even Braxton Hicks, so I am super stoked to be getting induced. Otherwise I think she would never come! 

Basically what I am trying to say in this hormonal post, is that I am SO FREAKING EXCITED to have this baby!!! I can't believe she's almost here. I am also SO READY TO BE UNPREGNANT. These past 9 months have hard and incredible. We are so excited to meet her. I keep imagining it in my mind over and over and I can't stop smiling.
So come on out little lady! 
We are ready for you!